What inspired me to change career path and create this website...
There is so much that I want to share with you about how we came to an autism diagnosis. (See our story below). And then the feelings that were invoked within me as I kept learning more and more about autism! I feel like this is was I was meant to do. I have never been more passionate about anything in my entire life. This website has been a labour of love. I have learned so much myself whilst creating it.
If you are reading this and are just starting out, I think it is important to realise that in most cases - autism is a collection of symptoms brought on by multiple environmental insults (this can be catalysed by vulnerable genetics which accounts for a very small fraction - we now also know that genetic expression can be switched on an off depending on our environment). See THIS page for info on toxic load. And read more about genetic expression - EPIGENETICS HERE.
This is so empowering because it means that in most cases symptoms can be completely reversed when the body is in good health!
It has taken me years to learn and understand this properly. It is mind blowing and it is like we are unlearning everything that mainstream medicine has taught us about autism. Which is in most people's view purely a genetic disorder.
From a mainstream perspective - we are repeatedly advised that autism is a brain disorder that can not be changed or improved. How amazing for me discovering that this was not in the slightest bit accurate, and that so much was within my power to help my daughter!
It is one of things that inspired me to create this website and my instagram page @thehappyhealthyunicorn. And to retrain to offer my help to other families stuck and confused. To share the knowledge I have gained throughout these absolutely painful, sometimes depressing years, and to save others having to go through this process! To encourage better eating habits for children on the spectrum in fun ways. As what we put into the body will definitively impact their outcome!
What I wish someone would have told me back then is that your body pre-pregnancy matters, during pregnancy matters and all of the actions after birth really matter for the health and wellness of your children! This probably seems really obvious to some. For me it was not - my knowledge was extremely limited prior to giving birth to my children, even though I had already studied biology at degree level! I think this screams a lot about mainstream medicine. And is why I URGE you to do your own research (a lot of which I have put into this website and my upcoming course 'Where to start 101'. You can learn more about this HERE. Or you can work with me 1:1 which you can learn more about HERE.
It is time to shift the mindset and I hope by flicking through the abundance of information here that it might make understanding autism a little bit easier.
If you suspect your child has autism, you are welcome here. if you feed your children kale every day you are welcome here, if you feed your children one food and it happens to be Haribo, you are welcome here. If you are wanting more info and are wanting to heal you are welcome here. If you celebrate your child's neurodiversity and don't want them to change you are welcome here!
This website is merely a tool to aid you with some of the information that might hopefully unravel causes for your child's symptoms. Whether you celebrate your child's autism or you don't, I think one thing that every parent can agree on is the fact that your biggest wish is for your child to be as healthy and happy as they can possibly be.
There is a huge amount of taboo around parents who want to 'recover' or 'heal' their children. These parents understand that the symptoms that come with autism are signs that the body is very unwell. This is a controversial topic, and one that often gets met with upset, offence and distain. It doesn't have to be this way. My own experience left me desperate for answers with a child that could barely function.
We can all form a part of this space and accept each other's unique standpoint. The transformations that these parents are striving for come from a place of complete desperation. It is so isolating to be labelled as someone 'not accepting or not loving their children for who they are'.
And I am sure it is equally frustrating if you celebrate your child's autism and are repeatedly made to feel like you are not doing enough.
If we look at autism logically, trying not to let emotions take over for a second; melt downs, anger, insomnia, nutrient deficiencies, digestive problems, OCD, anxiety, tics etc the list goes on. These are not signs of a 'healthy' child. And the further along in my research, studies and personal experience with my daughter I go, I understand how often these symptoms of a severely unwell child go under the radar and are ignored and accepted as part of an autism diagnosis by professionals.
Again if you look at a human body from a logical perspective - it needs an abundance of different nutrients to survive and carry out daily functions.
Picky eating is a HUGE hurdle for many parents with children on the spectrum. If the child eats only 2 foods - (again logically) will their body be able to function? Probably not. And picky eating is caused by a myriad of factors, usually at the core of the child - factors that once in balance can bring joy to meal times again.
I personally feel that that these kids are not being given a fair chance at health, by our lack of understanding for all these co-mormidities that make up the resulting 'autism'. This is not the fault of the parent. We believe in and follow the guidance of the professional. But unfortunately in most cases, their training and research is completely outdated.
A lot of these 'traits' (which are actually imbalances, deficiencies, digestive issues, toxic load) fall under a neat little diagnosis called 'autism' and so are just cast aside under the umbrella of an autism diagnosis. We are sent away with some speech therapy and the child continues to struggle daily.
Is this fair? I don't think it is. What is your view?
my reason for being here!
I was so naive back at the start of all this. I suppose the story began with Rose’s conception - an unhealthy, hugely toxic, greiving the loss of a parent who had died one year earlier's body. No idea I was pregnant, and on holiday - drinking, spa days - basically pretty much everything you are advised not to do whilst pregnant!
I want you to know that I am not placing blame - I just really think that it is important to understand that if you are trying to conceive, you'll want your body in the best shape possible. That body is so important for the outcomes of your children! I wish someone would have told me these things prior. If planning a pregnancy - we really should be preparing our bodies to be as healthy as possible for the child. It is now understood that a child's 'total load' begins accumulating prenatal!
Then onto the birth. It was horrendous. A three-day labour, having to be induced, going backwards in dilation (never thought this was actually possible!) and a brutal forceps delivery. Medication received throughout labour. We now know that medications during labour CAN cause adverse outcomes for children.
Rose didn’t cry when she was born, and her head was heavily bruised by the assisted birth tools. Rose received all of her vaccinations and after each was extremely unwell. She would stop feeding completely, be screaming and have a fever. At this point I would ring the docs for advice and be told to give Calpol to bring down her temperature. You must do what you feel is right for your child - but I now know that paracetamol ie Calpol/Tylenol actually depletes the very antioxidant that is required to detoxify it from the body. It is why I do not use Calpol now. Fast forward to 7 months of age and Rose became very ill with a urine infection. Rose was already delayed at that point (never rolled over and never crawled). She was rushed into hospital and was given intravenous antibiotics.
I have since learned that antibiotics in the first year of life are extremely common in children with an ASD diagnosis, as are assisted births. Antibiotics wipe out beneficial bacteria - these antibiotics were totally necessary for Rose to survive and I really do think they have their place. But they are over prescribed and it is important to note this common denominator in autism diagnoses and the huge prevalence of these children with digestive issues that lack crucial types of gut bacteria. There is an abundance of research on ASD and gut health. Mainly there being a lack of beneficial bacteria and and too much of other undesirable ones which are known to contribute to autistic behaviours.
Around this time we moved into a new home. The previous owners were going through a divorce because the husband had had an affair. She obviously wanted to make him pay and so set about absolutely destroying the place! She really must've hated him. I remember going to view the place and there were air fresheners in every room. I thought it was weird, but the house was a great price and so we bought it.
The day we got the keys, was exciting. We walked in to the strongest scent of pine and dozens of green air fresheners everywhere. Bear with me - this story is actually going somewhere.. I think!
We made up our minds that we'd replace all carpets but keep the existing under lay to save cash. It was only when we started lifting the carpets we a lightbulb went off as to why she had so many frigging air fresheners around.
She had really kindly let her dogs and cats use the place as a toilet. I mean it was everywhere! So we spent the next two months using every bleach, chemical and strong cleaning product we could get our hands on to get the smell out of the floor boards!
We had Rose at this point and she would often be sat there in the room whilst we were fumigating it with a million chemicals!
The reason these things are relevant is because as you will see in most cases autism is made up of a perfect storm of many environmental insults that wear down vulnerable genetics. And this is our story. It's text book autism.
It felt like after this round of antibiotics and the move, she never really seemed ‘well’ again. The ear and eye infections were constant. She would wake up with blood on her pillow most mornings because her ear drum had burst, and her eyes were always sticky like glue. Just infection after infection. We were advised by the doctor that Rose's eardrum was bursting and that 'this was quite normal for kids of Rose’s age - she will grow out of it'. The eyes were her 'tear ducts blocking' again 'quite normal' and sent away with more prescriptions to use. Just typing this paragraph now makes me feel devastated and horrified and like I massively failed Rose. It feels mind blowing to think of what I know now. But like many of us do, I trusted my doctor's knowledge and took everything he said as red. It wasn't my fault and it isn't yours. You should never feel guilt or shame for things you have no knowledge of. It is really unhealthy and toxic. Once you have the information - you can THEN make better choices. I walked away on several occasions and continued completely unaware of what other options were out there that might've helped.
Rose didn’t walk until age 22 months and had no speech at all age 2. And even with all these alarm bells ringing I was oblivious, totally. My love was blind and as she was my first child I didn’t really know any better. She was the most loving, funny baby.
I can remember walking through a shopping centre and heads would turn and huge smiles would be beaming in our direction, because of her infectious joy. So naively, I just assumed that she developed at a different pace and things became progressively worse.
Up until recently thinking back on these scenarios made me feel huge guilt. But I have realised that you will only accept this knowledge when you are ready. You have to go through a process yourself.
At age 4 Rose was diagnosed with autism. And her ATEC score was around 130. I was utterly relieved, which sounds crazy, but I thought that I was going mad up to that point. Constantly being fobbed off about a speech delay, when it always felt like so much more! This diagnosis inspired me to start my own research into autism. One of the reasons for this obsession in researching was the desperation I felt. I remember wondering to myself how we would all cope like this forever. This was after being advised by several health professionals that autism is a brain disorder that cannot be changed. This never made any sense to me. All health conditions can be improved somehow. Why is autism any different? If we look at autism as behavioural - and so many things can impact behaviour. Then why are we still positing that autism cannot be altered in any way? Strange!
I remember sitting up night after night just totally blown away by all the things I was reading. Leaky gut, opioid excess theory, gut and brain connection etc. It was like a light-bulb moment and a huge epiphany! I finally felt like there was something practical that I could do to help.
During my research, I attended many autism workshops, but I always felt so frustrated and disheartened leaving them. Thinking to myself 'how is no-one talking about the root causes?', 'why are they only focusing on the surface level of sensory input via a trampoline?'. It felt bizarre and was one of the things that heavily inspired me to start this blog.
After more research we decided to remove gluten strictly. And most dairy. The reasons for this are many and you can read more about this HERE. It sounds crazy, but the difference was pretty much immediate. We could get serious about potty training, and her behaviour changed to a calmer version. She seemed more ‘with us’ and started to vocalise a few sounds which became words. It was totally amazing!
Up to that point, I was contemplating the prospect that she might never speak. We still had a long way to go. But I was absolutely in awe of how much impact one small dietary change could have. The diagnosis inspired me to research day and night. I sometimes would sit up, not being able to sleep for hours because of all the info I had just taken in about the co-morbidities associated with autism! There was SO much research - why weren't people talking about it? Why didn't everyone know this? I couldn't understand it.
We at first switched to gluten and dairy free alternatives, but as I learned more I started to understand that they were just processed foods and that really we needed to remove those too. It was a process that we went through it over time. Changing the diet does not happen over night!
It started with things like different varieties of loved foods. Crackers for example - I'd buy a different shape, then one which might have had a few invisible seeds, then onto crackers which has visible ones. After those were accepted and enjoyed serve the cracker with some seeds on the side etc.
Within weeks her sleep improved hugely. It was like we were absolutely petrified of her eating anything with food dyes/ colours or processed foods because if she did at a party we knew we’d be up all night! The reactions were that severe. Read more about how food dyes impact children with autism HERE. And more on glutamate HERE (most processed foods contain glutamate). I always felt bad that Rose was missing out though, so I started to experiment in the kitchen, trying out different clean versions of her loved foods. It felt nice to be able to give her treats again. The Happy Healthy Unicorn was born!
We were referred to the peads at age 2 and received play therapy and speech therapy for the year after. Neither of which were very successful and her behaviour was becoming extremely difficult to deal with during any session we were invited to. I wailed embarrassingly like a baby during a few sessions and begged the tutor to give me some advice on how to deal with Rose's behaviour. I felt completely alone and that no one was understanding how bad things were! She kind of looked at me weirdly - it felt like I was talking to a brick wall.
The once happy, funny contagious joy, evolved into a child that seemed like they were constantly struggling.
At age 3 I'd say it was the 'rock bottom' period for us. Sleep was intermittent to say the least. Rose would wake every half an hour at night, screaming. She was angry, defiant, aggressive, hurting her brother, very rigid with clothing and toys and everything had to be on her terms. She would wear the same dress for two years, it was so tiny that we couldn't even button it up! On her 4th birthday I remember she turned up to her birthday party in freezing cold October, with a gaping dress where it was two sizes too small, and her school plimsols but it was all that she would wear. Removal of the dress would end in violence and we were too tired to battle. It sounds crazy to think of a 4 year old dictating life to that degree. And I never thought I would be a parent like that. But when you haven't slept for what feels like 5 years and a melt down lasts an hour - you just don't have the energy!
I contacted early help at this stage to get support for Rose’s behaviour, I felt so lost and desperate. I felt like I was failing, and we were all miserable. I wondered how we would all cope like this long term.
An early help advisor attended, with some really unhelpful tactics that were possibly useful for a typical child and we were left in misery again. And Rose was to be sent for assessment for autism, which was a 1.5 year wait.
At around age 2.5 years we started to try to potty train. It was impossible. She would have diarrhea several times a day. On some days it felt like I was changing her constantly. And obviously potty training was completely futile. Diet became more narrow and she would become aggressive if she couldn't get the constant snacks of wheat flour crackers and butter she demanded.
She would catch every sickness bug going. It felt like she was sick every few weeks, with vomiting bugs and diarrhea and other bacterial infections like impetigo.
Rose would also seek out constant oral stimulation, she would chew everything, and would eat ALL non-edible items, to the point where any kind of messy play would have to be supervised because she would literally just eat it! She would chew on clothing, toys, anything she could get her hands on.
Her behaviour was unpredictable and extreme. I can remember a few days out in particular that were so a bad she would kick, bite and punch me if the day wasn’t completely on her terms and we couldn't spend the entire day going up and down the slide! The rigidity made life so difficult, mainly because we had another child to consider too. He was younger, but always felt like the older child. To the point where because Rose would run off so frequently on days out, sometimes this tiny one year old would be left standing in the middle of a busy shopping centre. It was so dangerous and it made me hate myself every time I sat and thought about it. It felt never ending, and looking back her body was crying out for help. At this stage I had no clue. And continued to feel like I was failing as a parent. Constantly asking myself 'what am I doing wrong?'. Whilst we waited for this diagnosis Rose started to attend a specialist provision to support her needs. At age 3.5 she had no words.
A while after, I remember the paediatrician coming into Rose's school. We chatted about Rose's progress and I explained to her how much diet had helped us.
I remember her facial expression. Complete disgust. And her telling me that 'diet has no impact on autism' 'children with autism have rigid brains and this is why they don't eat'. I felt so much rage at that moment thinking of how many poor parents this lady had given that awfully incorrect information to.
I realised at that moment that there was no point in me talking to a mainstream doctor about Rose and our plans with diet. And that I had to somehow raise awareness about all of the things that can be done to help children with autism.
We decided to see a Naturopath. Naturopathy differs from conventional medicine because of its ability to see people as individuals, with a completely different biochemistry. There isn’t a ‘blanket’ treatment offered. It is tailored completely dependent on our genetic and epigenic makeup for a preventative approach to sickness. It focuses on the root cause. It also works on balancing the body naturally. It was what inspired me to go back to school and become one myself!
This just makes sense to me. Our children are all unique.
Upon speaking to the founder of the functional medicine clinic for our initial consult I finally felt like someone actually got me. All of the things that I had read and all of the things that we were already doing were finally validated and were explained on a biochemical level. It felt amazing to be finally understood! I wasn’t a crazy maniac – this is real!
We performed a tonne of tests and found that Rose’s toxic load was through the roof (READ MORE ON TOXIC LOAD HERE). Her body was struggling to detoxify adequately and her accumulation of toxins were crazy high. She also had many severe deficiencies, both of these things are extremely common in children with autism. This was impacting behaviour, comprehension, intellect etc due to these toxic substances inhibiting the absorption of essential nutrients required for brain health, and impacting the functioning other systems within her body. All of the research I had done on gut health now made sense and Rose had parasite infections and zero healthy bacteria in her gut.
My biggest hope is that one day these tests will become mandatory for all ASD diagnoses. And that a proper health plan be put in place. Unfortunately, this feels like a long way off according to recent experience.
After seeing this naturopath I was like 'sign me up' and immediately started training in this field. I saw many professionals throughout Rose's journey, some of which were lovely and tried to help. Rose was such a sensitive child, that most of the things which were recommended caused such huge reactions that we had to stop. I realised that I would have to go very intricately and carefully and my own way. This process forms the basis of the approach that I now use in clinic.
The biggest thing I have learned is that you can start healing without all of these tests from right now! Diet and lifestyle changes will always have the biggest impact!
Since that appointment I feel as though my knowledge has grown so much. I went back to school and just loved learning more and more. But you know what out of all these qualifications, I feel the biggest way I can help others is by having the same love and compassion that I use with my own family. This is my heart. My daughter. I am now learning to listen to my own intuition. And whilst some testing can be useful - listening to my gut when it comes to how we proceed with Rose has always brought us to places of success and optimum wellbeing. And it is what I teach. With some basics and self belief we can really help a child struggling and suffering.
I now help children and adults with complex health challenges to feel their optimum best via holistic nutrition and naturopathic medicine.
Where we are now
Rose is the apple of my eye, I never want to change her as a person. I merely want to do everything in my power to help her function as painlessly as possible.
Rose is now happy and healthy, she is learning and has friends, plays games, and we chat about abstract things like the weather and her dreams of the future. We had to change her school because she outgrew it. Melt downs are a thing of the past. Days out are fun and flexible. Rose is functioning at a level that I never dreamed she would be able to.
You can find out what I deem to be the biggest game changers for us in THIS blog post.
You can find out more about how I can help your family achieve the same outcomes - HERE.
